My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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