Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
