a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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