Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
