scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
