Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
