3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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