i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
