1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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