so explain again why im purple
no
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
