so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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