that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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