Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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