This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
