I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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