I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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