I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
