okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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