I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
