I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
