No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
