New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
