did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
