The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
