Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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