then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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