she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Mom said you looked used
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
