god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
