i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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