you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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