I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
