tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
