They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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