Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do vagina's smell?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
