Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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