He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
