Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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