And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
