Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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