i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
