I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
