somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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