OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize