We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
