I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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