You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
