So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
