saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
