she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
