my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize