Small penises have feelings too.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
