You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
