hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
