Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
