I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You don't make any sense
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