Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
